i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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