we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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