I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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