Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
