coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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