he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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