Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
