My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
