is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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