no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Randomize
