There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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