Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
