Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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