fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize