I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
