so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
