2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
