none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I cockslap morals
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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