idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
not ubering you a puppy
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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