Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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