she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
