Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
