She's JV to your varsity
I didn't shave. On purpose
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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