The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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