Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
