I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Even my vagina gasped.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
