Princesses don't give blow jobs
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
