YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
