I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
ttyl tear gas
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
