just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
