i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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