Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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