Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
