Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
