You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
