don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
