You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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