Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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