Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize