Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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