Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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