is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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