oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So vagazzling was a success
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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