so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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