For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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