Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
false alarm. still invincible.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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