He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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