i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
