it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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