Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
