Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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