I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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