i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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