I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
too bad you live with your parents still
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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