I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.