Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
